The AluClause
by KawaiiKittyChan
Summary: Re-uploaded and fixed. Alucard mistakes Santa Clause for a FREAK, When he kills him and is forced to take his place, all hell breaks loose, Will he save Christmas or make it worse? Either way, Seras is enjoying herself greatly.
1. The nightmare before Christmas

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I know, I added this story before and removed it because it was in my eyes even lamer than my other (doomed to remain an unfinished one-shot) story. and was ending up with more flames than positive reviews, But Metropolis Kid told me that, no matter how it seemed people were just avoiding it, I should give it a chance any way. Dear Person – whose – name – I - Forgot It seems that this story is not gone yet after all. If you really think it's such a waste of your time, do yourself a favor and don't read it again.

Seeing the Christmas days are coming up I decided to take a break on my current stories, Don't worry I'll work on them but I just don't feel like it now. The time calls for a Christmas story!**  


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Chapter**: 1 The nightmare before Christmas  
**Pairing**: Alucard/Seras  
**POV Characters**: Alucard  
**Genres**: Humor, friendship  
**Rating**: K+ (The same reason the movie "The Santa Clause" should not be appropriate for all ages)

**Chapter: 1 The nightmare before Christmas**

**It** was Christmas eve, that's what master called it. There should be a war but the our enemies stalled it. I should have been fighting now FREAKS are abound, causing a bloodshed with my police girl around. I can hear something out there, on the roof it comes climbing._ "Damn it why can't my thoughts stop Rhyming!" _What's wrong on my head, now really I've had it, There's a FREAK on the roof and he's going to get it!

**Finally** I managed to break out of my constricting cage of rhymes, I didn't know what it was. But I had trouble not to turn everything I thought or said into a sort of poetry. For the last couple of minutes there have been strange sounds on the roof, a FREAK thought it was a good idea to sneak into our base through the upper floor. I finally found the culprit, He stood there with a long list and checked it carefully. Then he glanced at me and smiled. _"Excuse me, would you know if this is where Seras Victoria lives?" _I inwardly growled, if you want a cute little police girl too, find one yourself this one is mine. That's what I felt like saying _"Why do you want to know?"_ I answered instead, the man chuckled.. A rather fat man now I think of it.. _"Well if you aren't Alucard? I know you, you're on my naughty list!" _Naughty... list? What is he.. Oh no.. Naughty list... Weird.. frilly red suit.. Twinkly eyes with sparkles that could drive a strong contest with the police girl's shiny puppy eyes. I read about this on that site called fanfiction net, where they pair me with the Judas priest! This FREAK is a homosexual!

_**"Get**__ away from me!"_ I all but shouted as I took out my Jackal and fired it blindly. He went down remarkably easy. There was not much time for me to get used to the calmness, because the next moment I heard a voice that would always demand my attention. _"Master? Please do you mind telling, why wake me up? Why were you yelling?" _Oh no, Not her too! I grabbed her by her shoulders and lifted her up to my height, which considering her size is quite a lift. _"Police girl, no.. rhyming.. Please." _Yes I said please. I was desperate to hold on to... whatever sanity I had left, so sue me. She giggled before her eyes drifted to behind me and widened in shock. _"My God!"_ Since when does she have her own god? Nice for her, I'm not even allowed to partake in the favors of the one we all share. _"What's wrong police girl?" _I asked asI allowed her to shake loose and she ran past me. _"Master. What is this?" _She asked with a scowl on her face, pointing at the pile of clothes clothes left after the FREAK died, they were just lying on the ground as if he had discarded them and ran off, Strange, usually when I kill a FREAK their clothes would turn to ashes with them. _"Why police girl, I think I just saved the male Hellsing staff, or at least myself from being assaulted by a homosexual FREAK, Although if my memory serves me well, he had interest in you as well, So I guess I saved you too." _If it wasn't for the fact that my police girl's body denies all the laws of nature already I swear her lower jaw would have dislocated itself judging by how far it fell open.

_**"Master **__you Baka! You Killed Santa Clause!" _Baka? I swear Police girl has been watching too much Anime, probably that Shoojo junk that has innocent girls fall head over toe in love with a boy. _"Santa Who?"_ I asked her with a questioning glare and she face-palmed while letting out a growl herself. Then she started singing.._"He's making a list, Checking it twice, Gonna find out who's naughty or nice Santa-cla"_ My eyes twitched _"Not that I don't like your voice, police girl"_ quite the opposite... _"But this is not helping me understand."_ She was now visibly trembling and I could see she was about to snap at me again, She picked up the coat and waved it in front of my eyes, _"Santa Clause is the man that brings the good kids presents for Christmas, he was probably here to bring us gifts, and you killed him!"_ She was really furious, intimidating even, I took a step back.. if you think I'm exaggerating, tell me now, we can switch places. _"Now who is going to bring the good boys and girls their presents?!" _I saw a small piece of paper falling out of the suit and something told me that little piece of paper was my best chance to get her to stop before I lost face in front of her, not out of fear, but because her aggressiveness.... Turned me on, and it would definitely not go unnoticed if certain piece of apparel were to turn into a tent in front of her.

Quickly I snatched the piece of paper from mid-air and read it _"If anything should happen to me, put on my suit, the reindeer know the way?"_ Reindeer? What the hell was this about? Seras squealed, into my ear.. Very loudly, My enhanced vampire senses did not like that at all. _"Ohh Master! I think the letter tells you to take Santa's place and deliver the gifts! Can I come along? Pleeease?"_ I quirked an eyebrow at her eccentric behavior _"No"_ I plainly answered. She instantly stopped her joyful bouncing _"Why master? I promise I won't get in your way!"_ This is madness.. _"Because we're not going!"_ She put her hands in her sides and pouted at my answer, Then the little cutesy pout turned into a wicked grin. "_I wonder what sir Integra will think of that."_ She said before running off. As soon as her message got through I sped after her, and I for once wished she wasn't as good a pupil as she was, on our way we phased through chairs, tables, paintings, walls, even random staff members we came across on our race to my master's office. She was fast... Too fast. _"Colonel Victoria! Alucard! What the devil is the meaning of this?!" _Integra shouted as soon as I phased into her office, Seras already standing in front of my master's desk, sticking out her tongue, at me, her master! I often wondered why I allowed her this much freedom, I could just bind her to my will and she'd have to do everything I told her to, but no, that just wasn't what I wanted from her. If I wanted that I'd have taken a ghoul as pet.

Police girl grinned, looking at me from the corner of her eye, "_Master, would you like to tell her or should I?" _she asked, sounding much like the little demoness she was. _"Come on, Master, What are you waiting for? CHRISTMAS?" _I glared at her "Oh wait, no there won't be a Christmas, Because you ruined it!" My limit was almost reached, I started to breathe heavier and began to look from my fledgling to my master's desk and back, thinking of many delicious uses for the piece of furniture. That was until my master woke me up from my fantasies. _"Alucard! Don't forget I'm still here. Don't get ideas." _She knew me too well, On second thought my police girl was eying me suspiciously as well, was it so obvious? _"Now if you would please tell me what had Colonel Victoria run in as if she was being chased by the devil himself."_ She glared at me with more than a hint of annoyance as she said those words _"Then we could get on with this and get it solved, then I can go back to cleaning up the mess you made." _After a few seconds of comfortable silence my police girl decided to ruin the moment. _"He did nothing sir, He only Killed Santa Clause!" _Another silence. An uncomfortable one, many thoughts went through my Master's head. Possible punishments and the like. A slight comfort for me was that I had caught another thought I could use to annoy her _"What about the new skimpy uniform I asked him for Seras?"_Straight as a board isn't it? Right, a board made out of veneer wood perhaps.

It was fun while it lasted, because as soon as I got to hear what the punishment was, I knew God really must hate me.

TO BE CONTINUED

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Please review, and if you're going to flame me at least be so nice to tell me what's wrong rather than "Your story sucks" or "This was a waste of my time"... thank you.

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	2. HoHoHo?

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I finally managed to find the time to work on this, sorry for the wait!

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Chapter**: 2 Hohoho?  
**Pairing**: Alucard/Seras  
**POV Characters**: Alucard  
**Genres**: Humor, friendship  
**Rating**: K+ (A few implications that are nothing you don't hear at school.)

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Chapter: 2 Hohoho?**

_**"Alucard**__, as much as I hate to punish you"_ Yeah right, next you're going to tell me you're a natural blond. "_This isn't as much a punishment as it is an attempt to save this holiday."_ By turning mine into a second hell? Whoopty fricking doo. _"Your punishment will be to take over Santa's job, at least this Christmas." _I froze for a moment, any Self-respecting Christmas-hating vampire would do so. _"Is that an order, My master?"_ I asked as if hoping she would laugh it off._ "That is an order, vampire..." _Couldn't she at least have TRIED to make it look like it was a joke? With a simple nod and an _"Understood, my master." _I got ready to phase out of the room, then she added _"One more thing, Colonel Victoria will be in charge of this assignment, I expect you to listen to her, DISMISSED"_ I gave a quick nod but said nothing, phasing out quickly before she could make all even worse. Only to be pounce-hugged by my police girl. Had I not expected similar childish behavior of her she might have thrown me over. _"Master! I'm so glad to hear you're going to save Christmas!" _Had she already forgotten I 'ruined' it in the first place? It's not as if I like to do this, That I am ordered to do this does not mean I have to be happy about it. What I did find amusing was the way Seras was hugging her petite body to mine._ "Seras, I do like this position, but this is usually done naked."_ She Just looked up at me, then down at the non-existing space between us, went, as always, red as a tomato and quickly released me while looking the other way. _"And don't even think of anything perverted, Alucard!"_ Came my master's loud, booming voice. Exactly the reaction I had expected from her, she always ruins my fun._  
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**What** I did not expect however is Seras taking hold of my tie and pulling me into the direction of the roof. At first I just lifted an eyebrow and coughed to tell her that I did not at all approve of her insubordinate behavior, but when she ignored those signals I pulled loose and nearly growled at her. _"That's enough police girl, I know the way to the roof, besides, when did I give you permission to come along?" _She smirked at me, I don't know why that felt weird, perhaps because it was very out of character. Even after the war she was still innocent as a human. _"You may not have, But sir Integra did. And I even recall her saying I was to lead this mission." _I think I liked police girl better when she was still weak and incompetent. We finally reached the roof, the 'Santa's' clothes still laying right where we left them. _"Master! Look at this!" _Police girl was all cheery, if she liked something it could only mean it did not involve blood and gore, in other words, I just knew that whatever it was would be something I could care less about. So I slowly and casually walked her way, taking my time to come to her and see what was hidden on the furthest end of the manor's roof

**The** sight of a large sleigh alone, standing on the roof was enough to make my eyes twitch, the fact that there were a total of eight reindeer to pull it made me wonder if I had by some cruel turn of events ended up in one of the police girls silly dreams. _"Are you going to just stand there?"_ Great... It talked. At least now I'm sure this is indeed one of the police girl's dreams. I got dragged into those before, and there was only one way to get her to wake up, so I put my hands on her shoulders and leaned down, coaxing her to look up at me. Then I let my mouth descend to hers, as usually when I got to about halfway she would wake up... Except that it was NOT like usually, and when my lips brushed against hers and nothing happened my eyes snapped open in slight shock... If this was not a dream that meant I had just kissed my fledgling! I heard a soft gasp from her and when I pulled away I saw her flushed face, half lidded eyes and slightly parted lips, a strange feeling inside me told me to dive in and finish what I started, but my pride would not allow it, so I pushed her away making her stumble backwards and fall on her butt in the snow. I almost laughed at that.. Maybe I did laugh... a little..

_**"Master,**__ That was cruel!"_ she cried out as her lips drew back into that cute pout, that feeling again. _"You did not truly think I was going to kiss you did you police girl?" _I asked mockingly as I turned to look into the sleigh and look for the presents, as to keep my divided mind occupied, _"If I were an old, fat, jolly man, Where would I hide a bag of gifts?" _I muttered and I could vaguely hear the sound of something shadow-shifting behind me, the next I heard was a loud thud as my police girl mauled me over the head with her Harkonnen. I was about to reprimand her but was stopped when that.. _THING_ started to laugh. (Usually that would not stop me but since this story should stay safe for the kids I'll make an exception.) _"Serves you right, you're a murderous abusive bastard."_ Spoke the reindeer in front, It's not like this sleigh needs eight reindeer to pull it right? Can I just kill that one? _"You better shut up. Unless you want to become reindeer Sausage!" _I growled,My police girl sat down in front of the beast and stroked it over the head while fingering a name tag on the critter's neck link. _"Comet eh?, Is that your name?" _The creature nodded his large head in the affirmative. _"Police girl, get away from that thing, you don't know where it's been." _Besides, the critter did not deserve the attention.

**Bored** and not knowing what to do I sat down on one of the red seats of the sleigh. _"What now?"_ I asked in a bored manner, _"Do I have to say some sort of magic word to get these critters to mpff." _I was muffled by the ugly frilly red coat being thrown in my face. _"You have to put that on Master!"_ she said as if it as the most normal thing in the world, one thing I know, the entire Hellsing staff will hear it when I get my payback on her after this 'mission'. I did what she told though, my master ordered me to listen to her after all. _"And now? I say "ho ho ho" and these beasts will start to pull the sleigh?"_ She giggled and stood in front of me, handing me the reins._ "No master, Santa always says 'Go Dasher, Go Dancer! Go Prancer, Vixen, Comet and Cupid, Go Donner and Blitzen!' "_ She had not finished this absurd line or we were searing through the sky at a high rate, the suddenness of the start made her lose balance, luckily for me when she decided to land on me, my face was met with two soft, rather comfortable cushions. I did not get to enjoy the feeling for long as she quickly pushed herself away from me. I don't know why she was so ashamed and shy while everything pointed to her wanting to be with me. She not talk to me the rest of the ride, that was until she found a package. _"Master! Look this package has my name on it!" _Police girl chirped and almost simultaneously the sound of paper being shredded was heard. When I looked back at her she was holding a small green folded piece of clothing and staring at it, still wondering what the thing was.

_**"Perhaps**__ you should try it on, Police girl."_ I said, already knowing what it would be, I certainly did not expect the answer_ "Fine, would you please turn around?"_ Which she did happen to give. I turned around, It's not like I haven't seen her without clothing before, SOMEONE had to get her out of her bloodied police uniform the night at cheddar, isn't it? Besides, ever heard of the saying "Having eyes in the back of your head" ? It worked for me, literally. I had to admit my master Integra has good taste, The little Christmas elf attire Seras found herself in was definitely worth seeing. Of course police girl blushed forty-two different shades of red, but after I told her it brought me in the "Christmas spirit" she smiled and decided to keep it on.

So far playing "Santa Clause" did not seem too bad, Despite the strange flying sleigh and the soon-to-be-sausage talking reindeer, I had no idea back then.

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TO BE CONTINUED?


	3. Not so silent night

There's chapter 3. Enjoy, Please don't forget to review or I'll bite!

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Chapter**: Not so Silent night.  
**Pairing**: Alucard/Seras  
**POV Characters**: Alucard  
**Genres**: Humor, friendship  
**Rating**: K

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Chapter: 3 Not so Silent night**

**Figures** that the old man had left the Hellsing manor for last. Last house in England that is, now we had to cross the channel separating England from Europe. Had the police-girl, (or should I call her Elf-girl for now?) not been here with me I would probably have abandoned the sleigh and finished the 'mission' as fast as I could on my own, phasing from house to house. After the waste of time I'd then have organized a nice barbecue with 100% reindeer meat. Part of me is...glad that the police girl came along though. I can't say she understands me.. But it is nice to have someone along that at least accepts me like she does. That along with the fact this 'mission' would have bored me even more otherwise made me understand why Integra sent her along. She knows what I do when I grow bored.

**Speaking** of the little elf she has apparently grown used to flying over the wide channel. Whereas she used to be unable to pass them unless she was in a coffin she is now standing straight up, two earplugs in her ears and that small noise-maker she calls an "I-pod" in her left hand. Her whole body swinging along with the music that comes from the small device, the sight is very appealing to my eyes, Vampire or not I am still a man and I appreciate female beauty. Even (Or especially?) in the form of my little, voluptuous angel, dressed in a short green elven suit, gracefully swaying her hips to the unheard music, she may be over fifty but her body is still that of a twenty year old, as is her mind.

_**"All**__ I want for Christmas is you, baby!"_ She suddenly begins, I watch her from the corners of my eyes, when she finally realizes she sang those words out loud she looks at me, blushes and turns away, her hand quickly sliding over her I-pod to silence it, she then focuses all her attention on brushing up the small Hellsing emblem on the Christmas themed Hellsing 'uniform's ' right breast pocket, which it obviously doesn't need. I'm not stupid, I very well know those words were for a fact aimed at me. I rest my hand on her back while chuckling, Purring into her ear _"And when you have me, what will you do, police girl?"_ She shivers, whether under my words or my touch I don't know. It's not the cold that's for sure, despite her clothes, or rather lack thereof, Vampires barely feel cold, although heat affects us more than usual. That goes for all meanings of the word 'heat'. When we stop on the roof terrace of a large house, right under an arch entirely made out of mistletoe I grin to myself, this must be destiny. Now I never feel much like co-operating with destiny, nor do I really believe in it but this opportunity is too great to let it slip, my pride will have to take a step aside.

_**"Look**__ at that police girl, Isn't that mistletoe?" _I ask and grin while watching her movements like a predator eying a very tasty prey as she stares up at the arch, growing more red than the ugly frilly suit I'm wearing. I slowly inch closer to her and she turns her head to me in confusion. Confusion makes place for embarrassment.. wait, no that is anger.. -Thwack!- Her small fist collides with my lower jaw._ "I'm not falling for that a second time, master! Please, just get those presents so we can do our job."_ I don't know if I should be congratulating her for having the guts to stand up for herself, or punish her for hitting me. Punishing her does sound a lot more attractive to do, but with those soon-to-be-reindeer-sausages watching (and the fact kids still may be reading this) I settled for listening to her and keeping the police-girl-punishing-party for after the 'mission' After maybe forty two seconds of rummaging through the sleigh the only thing I've found is a single empty bag. _"Those critters must have made a mistake Police girl, The bag is empty."  
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_**Police** girl turns to face me and lifts an eyebrow. _"Does not look empty to me, master." _I know she is blond, but I never knew she was dumb too, that was not a question that was a statement. _"I know the difference between empty and full Police girl, and this.."_ I hold up the bag and point at it, not knowing how to continue. _"That, would be 'full' master." _She finished and hides her mouth behind her hand, giggling uncontrollably. 'How the heck is this possible?' I think while looking at the now full bag. It is not until police girl's laughter is joined by that of eight pieces of Christmas roast-beef that I figure what happened. _"You! You did this!" _I growl pointing an accusing finger at 'Comet' who nods his big head mockingly. I need all my restraint to not pull out my Casull and fill him up with lead. I have a nice place for him when we get home, as a hunting trophy on my wall.

**Death**-glaring my police girl finally shuts her up, quickly followed by the eight critters that oh-so-nicely managed to make me look like a fool in front of her. "And now?" I ask bluntly, she knows what I mean. _"Now you climb through the chimney and give the children their presents."_ Is she mocking me? _"I'll go ahead if you want." _She IS mocking me! _"Police girl, despite the fact you are in charge of this 'mission' you would do well to remember that you are still my servant. Now stop joking around and answer my question or I might forget there are kids nearby." _She gasps and looks at me pleadingly. _"But..I'm serious, Santa always comes through the chimney."_ That's it, She's going to get it now, I'm sorry kids. I start to walk towards her, but soon realize my feet are no longer on the ground, When I look down I see the opening of the chimney below my feet, and when I look up I see the bag floating over my head like a balloon. Before I know it I am halfway in the chimney, my eyes still glaring my now frightened police girl. _"I'll get you for this, Seras." _I tell her before my head also disappears in the darkness of the chimney.

**Next **moment I stand in front of a fireplace. A large decorated tree, like my police girl insisted on having back home stand proudly in the middle of the room. On the couch there's a little girl sleeping silently. Or rather, acting like she is asleep. I can hear her heartbeat which tells me enough. I ignore her, Yes I'm thirsty but if my master finds out I'm drinking blood from innocent children she will go berserk and give me a one way ticket Hellsing seal room. I hear loud noises from behind me, at least, loud for my enhanced hearing. I don't need to turn around to know what it is, the muffled "oompf" tells me my police girl followed me down here and landed on her butt, Good thing that's one of the less skinny parts of her body or she's have a hard landing. _"Master, what's taking you so long? We still have a lot of houses to go by."_ She whispers before kneeling down near the girl. _"Come on, back to sleep you. Santa can't do his work if you stay awake."_ She whispers ruffling the child's hair.

Instead of listening to Seras the child sits straight up. _"Aw, how did you know? This trick always works on mommy" _Seras smiles and kisses the girl on her forehead, for some reason that just does not feel right to me. _"We elves have good hearing, child, now please, go back to sleep."_ The girl nods and lays down, so police girl is good with children, part of me is happy to know that, not sure why. _"What is Hellsing?"_ She asks pointing at Seras' badge and I'm getting annoyed but try not to pay attention, she asks too many questions. _"It's the name of Santa's toy-factory, Marina." _Seras answers_._ The girl nods and closes her eyes. _"Why does Santa not have a big belly like he does on the pictures?"_ I growl and turn to the girl _"Because Santa is on a diet okay!" _The girl's eyes widen and she crawls back under the cover. _"Santa has red eyes and long teeth!" _Seras glares at me and I turn away to place the last package under the tree, Seras returns her attention to the girl. _"Don't worry Marina, the books don't say these things because we don't want children to be afraid of Santa Clause. You're not Afraid of Santa are you?" _The girl, 'Marina' shakes her head and smiles as Seras walks to the chimney _"Sleep now, Else Santa will put you on the naughty list!" _The girl gasps and lays down quickly.

Finally I am done with the bag and I join my fledgling under the chimney. _"Santa! Why did you not __drink the milk?"_ I quirk an eyebrow at the girl. _"Vampires don't drink milk."_ I state plainly and at that moment the once more empty bag pulls me up through the chimney, I securely wrap my arm around my police girl to pull her along. Once on the roof again I walk back to the sleigh with long strides, _"Master! Why did you tell the girl we're vampires?!_" I sit down and wait for Seras to take place next to me. _"Police girl, Enough questions for tonight, no as a matter of fact, I don't want to hear even one more question the rest of the year."_ I see her mouth a simple 'oh' and she nods in understanding. Yes, Police girl really is the only one that understands me. Without further questions she takes the reins and yells "_Go Dasher, Go Dancer! Go Prancer, Vixen, Comet and Cupid, Go Donner and Blitzen!"A_nd we once again shoot through the sky.

...Only to land two seconds later on the next house.

.This is going to be one, long night.

TO BE CONTINUED?

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Nya!

Please review! Love needs reviews bites are free Rawr!  
(No really, I need reviews, They are kittychan fuel! Please? Onegai?)

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	4. The end of dreams

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Chapter**: End of dreams  
**Pairing**: Alucard/Seras  
**POV Characters**: Alucard  
**Genres**: Humor, romance  
**Rating**: K+

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Chapter: 4 End of dreams**

**Eventually** we did manage to finish the last house, only forty-two minutes before people would start waking up, Finally it was time to go home. "_Police girl, Put Charley and Pierre on the naughty list for next year." _She nods with a smile and scribbles some small notes on "The list." No, I don't care what it looks like I'm NOT starting to like it. And I'm Definitely not doing this again next year. No matter how happy it seems to make my police girl. I find myself smiling when she yawns like a kitten and snuggles herself against me. That's right, the sun would soon start to rise. I quickly wipe that smile off my face. No one saw that right?.. Good. Since no one is watching, I wrap my trench coat around her so she won't have to feel the discomfort when the sun does indeed rise while we're still here.

**When** we land I notice two things, One, a boy that is standing near our landing site with a similar uniform as Seras.. Minus the Hellsing badge, and two, this is definitely not The Hellsing manor, Nor is it England for that matter. The boy then makes the mistake to release the reins from the reindeer. He made my reindeer stew run away! _"Boy, What's the meaning of this?"_ I ask him almost growling. My police girl stares at him as he digs somewhere in the snow and a sort of pole rises from the ground. _"Master, I think he is a real elf."_ Then this has to be the north pole, whoever made it up took the 'pole' part a little too literally. Without answering he looks at us as he presses a button on the pole and the patch of snow below the sleigh begins to sink into the ground.

**The** sight of a large workshop filled with toys and a lot of little people greets our eyes, my police girl seems to have forgotten she was sleepy. _"This is great! I've always wanted to see Santa's workshop!"_ She chirps causing a lot of the elves to look at her, the next moment every single elf abandons their work and rushes to the sleigh. _"If I had not seen this stuff myself I would have scolded you for still believing in Santa Clause at your age. Police girl." _I tell her _"But now we have to find out how to get home." _She nods before looking around again with twinkles in her eyes. Seems she did beat Santa at the 'Twinkly eyes' contest any way.

**When** the elevator reaches the floor the elves close in even more. Mumbling can be heard from all around us _"Do you see his eyes?"_ _"Wow, look at those fangs"_ Others are staring at my fledgling. _"Are those real?"_ I thought the same when I found her, Shooting her through her chest did prove the fact they were not silicons. I grin slightly, that is one secret I keep to myself. Finally the elves free a path. At first I think it to be to let us through until a slightly taller elf makes his way through the crowd. _"Al right, show's over, everyone back to work!"_ He shouts. The mumbling fades only leaving sad _"awwws"_ as he comes close enough and reaches out to help MY fledgling out of the sleigh, I growl and he quickly retracts his hand as if it had caught flame. _"This is the first time we had a vampire as Santa." _He states_. _I glare at him _"Two really, She may not act like it, but she is the real deal all right." _He looks at her and smiles wryly before mumbling _"That takes care of the Mrs. Clause issue as well."_

**After** we're all out of the sleigh, me holding my fledgling bridal style why she kicks and thrashes like a little kid, probably still thinking I'm trying to make her feel rejected. Does she not realize she is making herself look like a fool? _"Oi, stop that Seras." _I tell her and she perks up at hearing her own name. I slowly put her down and face the male elf. _"Perhaps you can tell us what is going on." _I ask him and he nods, sticking out his hand for me to shake _"I'm Bernard, the head-elf and __you are the new Santa Clause." _I stare at him, ignoring the hand. _"Actually it is Alucard." _He looks at me a if I insulted him and then turns to my Fledgling who takes his hand and shakes it. _"Name's Seras Victoria, Nice to meet you Brambert!"_ His eyes twitch._ "It's Bernard!" _She giggles, _"I'll call you Brambert until you call my master by his name." _Brambert.. I mean Bernard sighs and turns to walk away, indicating to us to follow him.

**The** long and meaningless tour Brambert.. I mean Bernard.. gave us through the workshop does not need to be described, neither does his introduction to what it means to be 'Santa Clause' It comes down to me having to do the work as Santa Clause until I find another fool stupid enough to take over the job. After the rather long introduction me and the Police girl sit down together to take in all the information. _"Master, Does this mean we'll be playing for Santa Clause for ever?" _I hiss at the very thought _"Never! After this 'mission' is over I'm getting out of this blasted suit, prepare reindeer stew, burn down the Christmas tree, and then you'll join me in my room to help me let out some frustration. This is the first and last time I did.. THIS."_ Of course my implication causes her to blush again.

"_**Don't **__be so harsh on her Santa."_ the voice of a little girl calls out. _"It's not her fault the old Santa is gone."_ I look at the little elf, she's even tinier than Seras, she can't be more than 8. _"You should be proud of yourselves, You two really saved Christmas, Think of all the little kids who would have woke up without presents if you had not helped tonight." _Seras squeals and grabs the girl ruffling her hair _"Master! She's so cute! Can I keep her?" _I face-palm, There she goes again, I swear, after all these decades she mentally never aged over ten. _"Uhm, you can let me go now.."_ The girl speaks quietly and Seras slowly puts her down rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment. _"I'm sorry, I just thought you looked cute... You work here?.. You look so young." _The girl smiles. _"Actually I am over two-thousand years old."_ She states... she is older than I am! _"You're the new Mrs. Clause Then?"_ Seras points at herself, then looks at me and back to the little elf shaking her head no. _"Yes, she is."_ I answer. Seras freezes, as do I almost... I don't know why I said that.. But regretting stuff is not my style.

**The** girl laughs and pours something in a cup. _"You want some hot Cocoa? My own recipe.. Took me a thousand years to get it right." _Seras looks at me and I nod at her,You know I drink wine right? We true undead can drink most things as long as we don't have too much, it just does not serve as nutrition. _"Thank you..."_ Seras says as the elf gives her the cup. _"Judy, that is my name." _Seras giggles as she takes it_ "Mine's Seras, Nice to meet you Judy!" _Judy gives her a knowing she pours one for me I want to shake no, but some new thirst tells me I want Hot chocolate and cookies.. weird. _"There you go, Lord Alucard." _I look at her with a grin, so she does indeed know. _"I watch Anime."_ she replies to my grin, leaving me in more confusion than had she said nothing. She winks at us and almost skips away. Turning around with a small camera and taking a picture before running off. There's another one that never mentally aged past ten.

**Judy** returns a few minutes later. _"I'm sorry, I had to put that picture on my website. I'll point you two to your room." _Seras shivers. _"Y..you mean 'RoomS' right?"_ Judy smiles and shakes her head. _"If you are the future Mr. and Mrs. Clause you will have to share a room." _She says causing Seras to tense up as she follows. _"Don't worry police girl, I won't eat you... Unless you ask me to."_ I tell her, and she glares at me, I don't fail to notice she also relaxed to the words though. "_Thanks master, You just made me feel even worse."_ your body tells otherwise police girl, your body tells otherwise.

Judy leads us into a large room with red wallpaper, Red has always been my favorite color. A large four-poster bed standing against the far wall with our nightgowns lying on top of it. Mine a red PJ. shirt and pants with the initials S.C. on it and Seras' one a Red long shirt with M.C._"Good night you two! Don't make too much noise!"_ Judy says before leaving us alone. Without another word my police girl walks to the bed and picks up her nightgown.

_**"Don't **__you dare to peek"_ She says as she changes, not even watching if I actually listened to her words, naive little girl. When I join her in bed she is still barely awake. I lie in the bed and for the first tonight I am able to really think clear, I decide for myself tonight was all a silly dream. Seras crawls over to me and drapes her body over mine. _"Master, you noticed there's mistletoe over the bed? Isn't that considerate of Judy?"_ Those impossible mood swings Seras has prove the fact that I'm dreaming. When her lips touch mine for a chaste kiss I decide that tonight has been a very good dream indeed. _"Merry Christmas."_ She tells me before falling into a deep sleep on my chest. _"Mry chmas" _I murmur barely audible and without really thinking.. Probably the closest I'll ever get to saying those blasted words, even in a dream. I close my eyes, I smile thinking how absurd this dream was.

**The **next evening when I wake up in my dungeon room I let my thoughts drift to that weird dream. My bed is empty.. I have no idea why it feels so lonely, I never had that before. I almost swear I'm still having the after-taste of hot cocoa in my mouth but that is a silly thought. I don't even know how cocoa tastes. Back in my time we did not have that stuff. Perhaps I should Join my master and police girl in the Christmas celebrations this time?.. Nah That would not work out, I'm only good at playing the Grinch, besides I would not have any presents anyway, I'm on the 'naughty list'. I grin at that thought. I stretch and step out of bed thinking of another weird 'Christmas' day to come.

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**..Only** to have my foot collide with something soft and warm. It yawns... I look down to find my police girl lying at my feet, looking up at me. _"Did I fall out of bed master?.. Wait.. Where are we? Where's Bernard and Judy?" '_Jesus Christ.. ' I think as she stands up, her sexy red Night gown still clinging to her body. I look back to the bed.. on top of my sheets are my own PJ.'s with "S.C." on the shirt still laying unused. Could it have been real?

**There's** knocking on my door and in walks our aged butler._ "Lord Alucard..... Miss Seras?.. A young man named Bernard left a... few packages for you. He said it is "The list" For next year." _I blink a few times.. 'I am still dreaming.' is all I can think. _"Leave"_ I tell the butler, he bows and leaves as I told him. I sit back down on my bed to put things together... Can this be? My musings are interrupted by my police girl sitting herself down on my lap, facing me. Around her neck is a small red ribbon with a card on it. Upon closer inspection I see it reads _"For my Alu-Clause." _She rubs her neck against my lips. _"I overheard your thoughts."_ Her eyes look into mine, it's like she stares straight into my soul. _"I'll be your Christmas present."_ She sweetly tells me, before once again pressing her beating pulse against my lips_"Merry Christmas, My master." _She says.

Maybe Christmas is not all that bad, I think before letting my tongue out to lap at my marks upon her from my first feeding. '_Merry Christmas, Seras Victoria'_ I tell her through our link as her red life fluid seeps through my lips.. So warm and sweet.. Even better than I remember.

If this is what Christmas is all about, I may even get used to it.

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Possibly the last chapter. If your really REALLY want it (Review! review! Onegai!) I'll write a epilogue. If not, this is where it ends. I'm sorry for being a mean little bad kitten, But I lives on reviews! NYA!

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	5. Epilogue

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**Chapter**: Epilogue  
**Pairing**: Alucard/Seras  
**POV Characters**: Alucard  
**Genres**: Humor, romance  
**Rating**: K+

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**Chapter: 5 Epilogue **

"_**Master!** Master! Wake up, They're here!"_ My mate's voice wakes me up from a dream that need not be described here lest it scare away children.. _"What is it Police girl?" _I mumble, probably only half apprehensible _"Get back down here, It's still too early to get up." _For those who are confused now, 'down here' refers to my coffin which we started to share since a year ago. _"Brambard is here with the gifts master, we really got to sort them or we'll be late." _No.. It's THAT time again. _"Sort them yourself, Police girl. I already told you I'm not going through that hell again." _Why can't she just sleep while the sun is still up, like a good little vampire?

_**"Master,** Think about the children."_ Like I care about those little mon... _"Kappuchuuu!" _Police girl chirps before sinking her fangs into my neck, effectively walking me up. _"Al-right.. I'm awake!" _I tell her, glaring half-heartedly at her cute giggles and walk out as if nothing happened.. Really is this the same police girl that once was so afraid of drinking blood? Absurd.

**When** I enter the main hall I find Seras already changed into her 'uniform' helping the elves with the unloading of the many packages I just stand at the top of the stairs with my arms folded watching them work. Judging from the speed and efficiency Seras works with I see no reason to help her. _"Has it ever occurred to you she may want you to help her just because she wants to be with you?" _Judy... I haven't seen her a lot, only occasionally when she helped bringing in 'the list' and such, but what I know about her is that she likes meddling in my business and always tries to get involved into things that have nothing to do with her.

"_**As **a matter of fact it hasn't." _I Tell her clearly hoping she gets the point and leaves. Despite Seras being my mate I have no intent of going all lovey-dovey with her. _"I see... I do wonder how long the two of you will stay together then. There are plenty of men out there that would be more than glad to make a girl like her happy." _Last person who talked to me like that was never heard of again. That I am not a romantic type does not mean I don't take care of her in my own ways. _"Seras is mine, no one else has any claim to her anymore." _She turns away ignoring my last statement. My eyes return to my mate who is still working hard.

**Without** a care in the world Seras carries the large pile of wrapped gifts to the sleigh. Humming happily as she makes her way through the thick snow. One wrong move is all it takes, causing her to fall down the slippery sloped roof of the manor._ "Clumsy as ever, police girl."_ I tell her grinning as I catch her. She sighs in relief before she looks down. _"What about the presents?"_ She asks with slight worry in her voice. I grin as I lift her back up onto the roof. Her worried frown turning into a happy smile again as she sees the presents she dropped securely held by my shadows. Holding her tightly by her hand I escort her to the sleigh and drop the presents in the back. Perhaps Judy has a point.. Maybe I should not let Seras go alone through the night.

**'I remember** this house' I think as I place the last present under the large Christmas tree. And this situation.. _"Santa!" _I hear a cheery girl's voice. I turn around looking at the couch with the 'sleeping' Marina on it. I chuckle slightly remembering the girl that made me lose my temper last year. _"Where's the nice elf that was here last time?" _Still as nosy as she was back then. _"Seras is feeding the Reindeer, Marina." _I tell her before taking out a black plushie dog and putting it under her arm. The girl giggles reminding me of Seras and points into the direction of the table. I sigh _"I told you I don't drink milk Marina."_ She shakes her head. _"I know." _She tells me, making me quirk an eyebrow as I turn to the table finding the last thing I'd expect. Two iced blood-packs. _"One for the nice elf girl!" _She tells me with pride. I chuckle and stroke a hand over her head, ruffling her hair. How a child like her managed to get her hands on chilled blood I don't want to know but one thing I do know.

Police girl was right when she said I would grow to like doing this. Although it is doing it with her that makes it more bearable.

One day I might even grow used to being called "Santa"..

...Nah.

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Author's notes:  
**Charley** and **Pierre** were just two random names and were no references to any movies.  
Alucard and Seras did **not** get to eat **Reindeer stew** in or after this story.  
**Kappuchu** isan onomatopoeia of blood sucking used in the anime **Rosario+Vampire** (A romantic Anime.. A rather Ecchi one. But Very funny.)

Not as good as I hoped the epilogue to come out... Actually I really disappointed myself this time  
but I found I had to get the epilogue out before Christmas was over.  
Please **Review** none the less!  
A Kappuchuuu for you!

**PS:** I'll continue the story "When Light Meets Darkness" when I return from my holiday after Newyear

~Kitty!

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